Being in touch with yourself, knowing yourself, finding your true nature; being in flow, being authentically you, listening to your intuition are all popular goals in the self-development arena. But – which YOU are we talking about? What’s your identity, and why is it important?
Thoughts on Identity
Approaching identity from the knowledge base of scientific culture, your identity is who you are. You identify as human (most likely), with a gender (or binary), a skin color, culture, name, age, family and social status, and a history. Your scientific knowledge explains how you were born, grew, developed skills, memory, body, retained knowledge, and grew your personal history. Your identity in this belief system is inseparable from your body and your history. The past or the history of this identity informs how you see your future, and likely how it will unfold.
Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie, and spiritual traditions of awakening see identity as the collection of thoughts and beliefs that inform who you think you are. Eckhart Tolle uses the term Ego to describe a mind-based entity that keeps you identified with your present form. This Ego’s main characteristic is that it sees itself as separate from everyone else – from every other Ego. If you are not aware of your ego and its compulsive and repetitive thought patterns it takes over your thinking. Your ego’s main “goal in life” is to reiterate the story of who you are as opposed to – and separate from – other beings. Unless you are aware of your ego, it dictates your thought patterns almost exclusively.
Feeling connected to the world
In the deeper truth of awakening, you become aware that you are not separate from the world around you. You are connected to it; you are a part of it. Following scientific models since the discovery of the quantum universe can aid with this realization. Extremely simply put, your body and your physical reality are made up of particles that exist in various forms. They can appear as particles, or as waves, or be nonexistent. On the particle level, you are a conglomerate of tiny, fast-moving, and vibrating particles, just like everything else around you. The physical boundary of your human form turns out to be very porous and in constant communication with everything around you. You are part of a fluid exchange of matter that happens throughout the whole known universe.
Do I want a strong or a weak identity?
Developing identity is a necessary step in your evolution as a human. However, if you stop there, you begin to experience an inner incongruence between the desire to grow further as a being, and the desire to keep your identity stable. The ego feels stronger with more certainty as to ‘who you are’. The pitfall of the strong ego is that it needs to defend who you think you are against the changes inherent in constant growth. The more you can see yourself as a fluid identity with shifting boundaries, the weaker your ego identity will be.
A subtle identity allows you to keep an open mind. It doesn’t need to defend your point of view (although it can have a discussion). It is open to the truth and wisdom in every new experience, and as such, it is the basis of an agile mind. Awakening is characterized by humility – the ability to see one’s faults clearly without feeling guilt or shame and thus have compassion for others’ shortcomings. There’s a sense of connection with life, and with other people. The boundaries of this subtle identity are fluid, and what’s ok today might not be tomorrow. This creates an ever-new experience of life and an unlimited ability to grow and learn.
The 4 questions of the Work will question every facet of your identity. They are not designed to prove your old self wrong so that you might evolve into a new, better self. The questions and turnarounds will open your mind to a truth that’s not limited by your identity. Instead, it is informed by the thrill of connection, by understanding, compassion, and love.
Get to know the facets of YOUR identity!
If you want to get to know the facets of your identity, book a Facilitation and Support for You Session. Explore how you can use them to develop an open and agile mind in your career. During 2 hrs, you’ll learn the basics of the Work and let go of some of your beliefs. We’ll develop a strategy for you to move forward. If you learned about it here you may book this session at 50% off (full price $140) until May 1!
From the archives – if you enjoyed this article, you might like Self-Realization as a Leadership Tool!
