“If I just let life happen my business will fail.” Is this true?
Inquiry
How does life unfold if I don’t have a plan?
“If you want real control, drop the illusion of control.
Let life have you. It does anyway.
You’re just telling yourself the story of how it doesn’t.”
Byron Katie
The Illusion of Control – Planning My Life
‘Planning’ is such an important concept in our society. We plan our year, our holidays, our business, our houses, and when to have kids. We love it when a plan comes together and dislike it when it doesn’t. Depending on the importance of a plan, a plan falling through can be devastating! Like when you’re a teenager planning to spend a holiday with your best friends, and you break your leg the day before. Or when you’re starting the business of your dreams and the business plan doesn’t work out.
We put our essence into those future images of ourselves. We believe that our happiness depends on plans working out. In the expectation of this anticipated brilliant future, we happily leave the present moment. We believe that no happiness comparative to what we anticipate can possibly be had, right at this moment. We wish for the time to fly by so that we can have these happy moments. And then, when they are there, a part of us believes that the planning has made them happen. So immediately, we start to plan for more.
Happiness In The Future
This mindset for future happiness creates intense restlessness in our lives. We are constantly looking for the next happy moment to arrive, and once it’s there, we immediately plan for the next, and the next. In believing that “we have to overcome the present moment in order to get to the next, better moment, we treat the present moment as our enemy. This is clearly insane!” (Eckhart Tolle).
As we get older we notice how the years just seem to fly by, one day happening exactly as the one before, the weeks and months fairly chasing each other. Is this any wonder, after a lifetime spent wishing for the day to end, so we can leave work, or the week to end, so we can relax, the year to end, so we can be on vacation? The constant expectation of future happiness takes our life away from us. We don’t notice life today while we look for it tomorrow.
“Expectations ruin the joy of life.”
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
The factors that play into our buying into the strategy of future happiness are of course complex. Our whole life is tangled up in it. After all, I have to go to work to earn money. If I don’t earn money I will…………… and you can fill in the blank of your personal worst nightmare. We fear our story of the consequences of failure.
Exercise:
Let your mind wander over the various ways you are planning your days, weeks, and years, and notice what you fear will happen if you don’t do this. Allow some of those fears to turn into nightmares, asking yourself: And then, what will happen? And then? Write your thoughts down, then take them to Inquiry.
Success in life is tied up with our self-worth.
Depending on who you think you should be, you are more or less unhappy with your daily work. Gallup studies track employee engagement in the US, showing that in 2019 only 34% of employees are actively engaged with their work, meaning they’re likely to feel happy about being there. As it becomes more generally known how unhappy people are in this civilized capitalist society, wellbeing and personal wellness strategies are on the rise and are slowly starting to become part of workplace culture. Meditation is one suggested strategy for personal wellbeing. The challenge of meditation is to ‘sit’. But how to succeed at that, when at the same time, we still believe in the validity of our thinking telling us we have limited time, and need to plan, and work; or else?
We spend countless hours planning our lives. We identify with this future person who made things happen. When the plan doesn’t work out it feels like a personal failure. Yet, how many factors play a role in making life happens as it does? And how many of those could we actually influence?
What would life look like, if we could let go of the expectations?
“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”
Jean de la Fontaine
Part 2: “If I just let life happen my business will fail.” Is this true?
The inquiry in Part 2 of this post is about understanding what happens when I believe in the concept of needing to plan and work hard for a happier future. As with all inquiry, this isn’t about a right or wrong way of living our lives. It’s about understanding underlying motivations and fears that drive my actions. It’s about understanding the root cause of our stress.
Moving from the Illusion of Control to Clarity
Inquiry allows us to look at the things we hold for truth from a different perspective. By taking a step back and emotionally disentangling ourselves we are able to have a clearer view of our lives. It opens doors that previously we just hadn’t seen, or even known existed.
If you’d like to dive deeper into what’s keeping you from being peaceful and efficient, I’m more than happy to be your accountability partner. I’ll help you get into the process and stick with it for some weeks. You’ll be really motivated because you paid money for it. And I’m looking forward to facilitate and witness your journey! You can sign up here https://theleaderswork.com/private-coaching-and-packages/
