What is happening for you today? As you are continuing your life within this new matrix of COVID-19, what are the issues that come up for you? What are the situations that trigger your anger, and what is it you fear? What makes you sad, despondent, depressed? With Inquiry, these challenging, seemingly adverse emotions can turn into gifts.

And, what are the gifts that you receive in this time of adversity? 

One of your gifts could be time to read The Illusion Of Control (Part 1) and Working For A Future (Part 2).

During Eckhart Tolle’s latest 5 part lecture (free), he talks about the gift of adversity. In his beautifully rambling style, he describes how we grow with challenges; the more so when we can be present with them. In tribal cultures, he says, the necessity of adversity for growth to occur was well recognized; young men would go through rites of passage rituals before being welcomed into the community as adults. By successfully facing adversity, these young people demonstrated a new depth in their lives.

Byron Katie calls life on our planet ‘Earth School’. We are here to experience challenging lessons and learn from them. Life on earth isn’t about ease and comfort at all times. And whatever we might wish to the contrary, that won’t change.

What can change, and does, is how these adversities affect us mentally. Every time we complain about what is going wrong, what is difficult in our lives, the situation becomes worse in our minds. We move from discomfort into ‘suffering’. 

Suffering happens when we mentally disagree with a situation. It turns into suffering because we experience the associated discomfort many times magnified! The magnification happens because we see the problem in the past and the future as well as right now, and we are affected by all the emotions of past and future on top of our experience of this moment. Our thinking literally multiplies our stress.

Changing Suffering Into Joy

One of my personal challenges in working remotely is not knowing what is normal because the situation moves and evolves continuously. I feel out of control. It creates an intense feeling of restlessness. I’m unfocused and find it hard to start anywhere. At the same time, I can’t allow myself to not do anything. ‘Trust’ is not an option. The more I fear, the more I want to control the situation. By writing my stressful thoughts down and bringing them to Inquiry, I can change suffering into joy. I find the gifts in adversity.

Exercise:

Find your own gifts in adversity by inquiring into your stressful thoughts and beliefs!

I invite you to make a list of your fears and anxieties. If you don’t have any right now, just give it a few hours or a few days. It will come. Then bring them to Inquiry, one belief at a time. Bring yourself back to the joy of every moment.

If you’d like any help in your inquiry, you can email me at stef@theleaderswork.com for a free session, or book a course or a personalized package with me. 

You can join Byron Katie for The Work for breakfast Monday – Thursday here.

The Gifts In Adversity

The 4 Questions of Inquiry are highlighted below. To go through the process, write down the thought that is troubling you. Then ask the questions. The answer to Questions 1 and 2 is Yes or No only; and notice how the mind would like to argue, explain, discuss, or justify. 

“If I just let life happen my business will fail.”

Is this true? 

Yes.

Can I absolutely know this is true?

Yes.

How do I react, what happens, when I believe this thought?

I abandon the mornings’ joy in favor of The List Of Things To Do. When I operate from that thought I start the day planning. I rack my brain for ideas, what do I need to accomplish today to bring in money. I need to advertise, think of intelligent and compelling messages to send out into the world, make videos, work social media, keep an eye on emails, optimize my website, double-check, write articles ……….. On any one day, I want to accomplish several of these. Just writing them out like this makes my shoulders tense, my body tired. It makes me want to yawn, crawl back into bed, or at the very least pick up the coffee habit again. 

So my business will fail if I don’t do these things. I see myself a year down the line, back in a job I’ll hate (now even more than before, now I failed more thoroughly). I feel despair. I’m tired and disillusioned. My body feels weak, lifeless, powerless.

So I rally and resolve to work harder. 

This rally and get back to work is a positive psychological response. Mainstream psychology operates within the concept of past-present-future. Working for a better future is a positive, healthy response to a moment of doubt in mental health understanding. In a universe that operates within the laws of ‘past-leads-to-future’, this makes perfect sense. Contrarily, in a universe where the present moment is the focal point of attention, the same thing seems totally insane. Negotiating these seemingly opposing truths ads spice and interest to our lives. We seem to operate as people in the matrix, and if we can get hold of the blue pill, we get to step out into presence. Notice how life in presence is light, and life within the matrix seems quite hard. 

The Gift Of Simply Being Present

And who, or what, would I be without this thought?

I’m aware of the present moment. My tendency to fall into planning and get lost in the future is noticed and stops. The morning is clear and bright, the walk fresh and sparkling. I relish being present in it, and it’s so joyful! My body feels alive, smooth, strong, agile. I’m smiling and appreciating the world deeply. 

I notice how I could use the work that I’ve done to better results, and not go through doing it all again. That would reduce my workload by about 80%. I notice how the situation as it is has many opportunities for me. I know that Inquiry is a gift in times of hardship. I’d love to investigate people’s challenges with them. Being of service lightens my world, and this morning the world flows with me.

Turnarounds

After answering the 4 questions of Inquiry, we turn literally turn the original thought around and find examples for he truth of each turnaround.

“If I let life happen my business won’t fail.”

Going with this morning’s process it might be better supported by being present than by being ‘busy’. This morning, I feel energetic and healthy. I had loving attention left for my family.

“If I let life happen my business will thrive.”

When I spend my energy on doing the next thing that arrives, I get a lot done, with good focus, and don’t get tired. Meditation is a restful exercise, it gives me energy. The best ideas happen when I’m not desperately trying to think of them. Inspiration happens when I feel energetic, not when I feel pressured. And I pressure myself through my thinking. 

“If I control life my business will fail.”

And so far it does. I work super long days, do my best, and so far it’s failing. 

Hmmm, it’s failing is another scary thought worthy of looking at. There are so many thoughts to undo in the universe! 

“That is why I called this The Work.”

Byron Katie

I want this to be my work.

I notice how the universe is kind. For now, at this moment, it is.

Wish granted.