Learn how to use Inquiry to naturally operate in integrity and be fearless in your decisions at your work.

Through Inquiry, I’ve come to realize how many of my everyday decisions are governed by fears. Every day, every hour I weigh up my choices. The path I fear makes me feel uncomfortable, so I move towards the option that promises – at least relative – safety. 

When I operate like this, I choose not to contemplate or investigate the more fearsome option, but- for the sake of time or comfort – just move away from it. In inquiry I’ve discovered that this way of being in the world has a serious drawback:

It often compromises my integrity.  

So how do I operate in integrity and be fearless @ work?

It’s easy to fall into situations like the one above.

I’m asked to stay late at work. I don’t want to – but saying “No” will have all sorts of consequences I’d rather not face. My boss will be disappointed and angry, my colleague will be feeling let down. So I rather …… let me down. As a result, I will feel resentful (towards them) later on and irritated when I get home, and my family will get to feel that. My internal story will go on, into my feeling justified in being tired and not engaging with my kids; didn’t I stay and earn extra money for their sake just now? All around I am the victim of circumstances.

When I inquire I start to see different possibilities.

Inquiry is about questioning what I think – what are the fears that keep me from saying “No”, and are they even true? Who’s business is it if my colleague feels let down – mine, or theirs? Can I influence their feeling, should I take responsibility for it? And I do attempt to shoulder that responsibility because it seems easier to make them happy than to make myself happy. 

So what is it I fear when I say no?

My boss will be angry. 

Can I know if this is true? 

In my mind I play the scenario – she asks, I say “No” – and she says: “Oh. Ok. We’ll have to make do without you then.” 

Ahhh, so its possibly not true. 

Immediately my mind says – Right, but – she’ll be really disappointed. And can I know this for sure? No.

Staying with ‘angry’ for this inquiry – what do I fear will happen when she’s angry?

She’ll disapprove of me, she won’t want to work with me anymore; eventually, she’ll fire me. I see myself out in the cold, my kids on the street because we couldn’t pay rent. My references forever ruined and I not able to find work. I’m desperate, sad, angry at myself. I’m a total failure.

But imagine contemplating what would happen when she’s asking if I can stay, and I don’t have the thought that she’ll be angry, and that fearful story of failure, who would I be? What would I say? Truthful, and fearless – what would I do?

Getting still with the question

I notice how I am torn by different motivations. My truthful answer would be: “A part of me wants to accommodate you and stay, and I need to go home now.”

This answer feels good and light in my body. I am relieved, I am in balance.

It feels within my integrity and without fear.

I notice that other fears come up – how they are not going to like me anymore, make my life hell from here on, and fire me, etc. Without these thoughts, I step outside and do a little happy dance. This is freedom for me, right now. I said yes to myself. Fearlessly. 

In Inquiry, I question all those fears and find my own truth. I pay attention to what is mine and what isn’t. Being out of my business, moving out of my integrity is starting to become the only thing I fear. That is were fear, anger, and pain get to continue. 

But if we all were that ‘selfish’, wouldn’t that mean the collapse of our social structure? Wouldn’t workplaces be deserted? Wouldn’t everyone just look after themselves?

Can you know this is true, that’s what will happen?

My experience is that when I am true to myself, connected to myself and looking after myself, I am much more able to extend support and interest to others. When I get enough time off I have more energy at work. When I feel free to come and go I am more likely to be there. And as I have no one but myself to blame I am less resentful and frustrated with others.

In my world, it’s a win-win. 

TheLeadersWork.com – using inquiry-based learning to change lives @work. 

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Research on the efficacy of Inquiry-based Stress Release https://researchonline.nd.edu.au/sci_conference/15/