The accepted and most effective methods to draw people into discussions are stories of wrong, calamity, and ‘us’ versus ‘them’.

We habitually don’t take the time or learn the know-how to engage in conversations that Call In other opinions so that all should be heard and valued. Media – including books and movies – thrives on calling out – what they did wrong, what they shouldn’t do, and how that affects ‘us’.

Could there be room for improvement?

Who Do You Stand For?

Focusing in on vet med, the stories are private versus corporate, vets versus big Pharma, veterinary versus non-veterinary, owners versus vets and/or staff, manager versus staff, ad infinitum. Headlines that grab attention include words such as flaw, neglect, uncaring, disrespect, overcome, deceit, grabbing, and power; or they delineate division. 

When I worked in Vet Med in 2015 it was suggested that politics might not be a good topic of conversation at work, considering the propensity to alienate otherwise friendly people. Not having those conversations, however, is obviously not helping matters. We can perfectly well alienate any other camp instead.

Social Media’s Anonymity 

There’s general consensus that social media’s anonymity and perceived relative safety have exacerbated the trend. We say things online that we often wouldn’t express in a person’s face. Face to face, it is easier to recognize a common humanity, and thus harder to hurt someone. 

Notice the drawing in of the experts in the paragraph above – by mentioning the ‘General Consensus’ I create weight for my argument. 

As you read posts, notice the tendency to state your camp and make sure your opinion doesn’t stand alone. Once you see it out there, you’ll recognize the same in your conversations and at work. 

Opinion is thought to carry more weight if you can enlist ‘your team’, your profession, science, or at least a friend. 

Not feeling ‘good enough’ is a pervasive feeling in civilized society, so we aim to bolster the ‘little me’ opinion with more weight, trying to create a ‘bigger me’. 

You Are Kenough!

I loved the Barbie movie. It was a fun little social critique, not taking itself too seriously, and a brilliant marketing plot. My favorite scene was the rip-off of superhero movies when the Kens pelt each other with blow-up toys 😂. 

In the end, Ken realizes he is enough as a separate being from Barbie. He doesn’t need to play that part – as a matter of fact, it’s detrimental to the whole community if he does. 

In that same way, consider which part you play, trying to fit in and belong. 

What would happen if in this whole crazy world, your opinion and your actions were enough, standing on their own, adding value by being just whatever they happen to be?

Being enough as you are, and in fact, being required to be completely and unashamedly you is your best gift to the world. 

Your ‘little you’ is enough. It is, in actuality, your ‘big you’. Big You not as in ‘us’ versus ‘them’, as in ‘how much power can it hold and throw about’ – but as a necessary part of a symbiotic world and ecosystem. 

Wait – What? 

Symbiotic world??? Yes, you’ll get to see it – but explaining would take another article and this is already long. 

Shift Your Thinking 

This shift in thinking is and will remain a pipe dream unless you start doing it. 

Beginning to understand yourself as ‘enough’ needs mental training and adjusting. I’m not talking about positive affirmation – I’m talking about investigating your core beliefs and updating what you know.

An easy and powerful way to do this is to question your judgments on ‘them’ – be that the kids, the boss, the politicians, or the corporations. This leads to a radical shift in thinking and seeing the world.

Instead of hiding behind barriers and fear, you get to find out how the state of things AS THEY ARE is supporting you, moment to moment. 

“I welcome all things 

because here they come anyway, whether I like it or not, 

and I let them go 

because there they go, 

with or without my permission.”

Byron Katie

That’s acceptance.

But That’s Changing Nothing!!

4000 years of ‘being against’ hasn’t changed a thing in how humans try to handle conflict. Do you want to continue doing what’s not working? That’s a definition of insane.

Humanitarian leaders like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar don’t ‘stand against’. They work tirelessly for inclusion and understanding. They are characterized by largesse – a quality of understanding humanity and being radically open-hearted.

Byron Katie’s Work gives everyone the opportunity to effect radical change – not starting with the big systems, but starting in perception, and then beginning the process where it matters – person to person, face to face, one word and kind action at a time. 

You might not change humanity, but you will change you, and influence every single person you come into contact with.

That could be quite a few. 

Ready? 

What do you think? Comment below.

This is the Work. 

Comment on this or reach out if you want to know more – if you want to leave ‘little me’ behind and step into your ‘big me’, and be radical in stopping the big and the small wars of ‘us’ versus ‘them’. 

If you want to find yourself finally ‘good enough’, just by yourself and in all your glory, this is for you. 

You can also dip your toe in and join my next Culture Shift Mastermind Zoom here.